FK Fanboys React to the News

Fanboys and well-wishers of Ian Bernard are upset. Not because they’ve realized they’ve been carrying water for nearly a decade for some amoral freak who is a few sentences off from a walking NAMBLA pamphlet. No they’re upset that SFK shares screenshots of their idiotic conversations. Like this one where the Stone Farm proprietress encourages an internet tough guy to gather information on SFK admins so she can “talk to us”.

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Either Dante is a simpleton or is really eager to impress Katie. Nothing is blocked because we’re a public group, genius. Unlike you clowns we’ve got nothing to hide.

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Hunt the locals. This is the flavor of nutty coat-tail rider that Free Keene attracts.

As for Katie’s sob story: here is SFK’s response.

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Super l33t doxxing skillz, Zer0 Cool! That’s some righteous haxxing compiling a list of administrators on a public forum.

I suggest you take the offered advice of refraining from speaking. Dork.

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I can think of about a half dozen people in your groups who hate Free Keene’s guts and thinks it should die in a house fire. But I think the more important question is why this dumb kid thinks she’s in any position to label us “psychos” given the company she keeps?

More to come as the FK septic tank continues to overflown!

Sentient Cockroach Fronts Local Domestic Terror Group

In a baffling example of the bizarre, liberty-loving folks have taken to aligning themselves with the world’s only sapient Periplaneta americana. Housing itself in the city of Keene, the over-sized vermin calls itself Ian Freeman and runs a radio show out of it’s nest on 73 Leverett St. On the show Freeman extols the virtues of moving to NH and getting arrested for petty misdemeanors so he can film it from the sidelines and pelt police officers with accusations of fascism like the brave roach-man he is.

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Freeman after someone turns on a kitchen light. 

Freeman lately took umbrage with SFK lauding the genocide of his people by invoking the terror of exterminators and insecticide gasses. He has labeled SFK a “hate group”. According to polled SFK members, nobody cares because roaches are a disgusting pest. Darth Statist, SFK’s Illuminati liaison and Sith Lord, had a dissenting opinion: “Roaches are gross but have you ever seen Chris Cantwell? Dude looks someone decided to dress a brockwurst up like an alcoholic cab driver.”

Edit: The above post is in dispute. While resembling common household vermin in appearance and behavior, SFK has been informed that Ian Bernard aka Ian Freeman is actually a petty and narcissistic man-child with delusions of grandeur. SFK would like to apologize to insects (humanoid or otherwise) for any harm this mistake may have caused.

Robin Hood Trial Exposes FK Hypocrisy

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If you haven’t been out of town in the last week or so you probably know that Keene’s sapient roach infestation staved off another visit from the city’s metaphorical Orkin man. As some SFK forum members have commented: it’s a hollow victory. The public’s opinion of Bernard’s clown car troupe couldn’t be lower and even his peers are leery of associating with him as evidenced by the lackluster turn-out at this year’s Keenevention. Even if FK was able to pull off another court upset the damage to their good reputation (lol) has been lethal.

None can be blamed for avoiding the toxic group when the trial has expertly peeled back the layers of FK hypocrisy and shown Ian to be the charlatan he is. FK has consistently hid behind the Constitution while demonizing the entities that enforce it. Bernard and his peers have no qualms with showing their disregard for governing bodies and the laws they uphold and in some cases advocating violent action against government workers. Ian is even an avowed secessionist and has used “freeman on the land” hokum to get out of a parking ticket.

FK’s ambulance chaser uses the First Amendment to argue that the city’s request for a buffer zone is an infringement of the free speech clause. He uses a batshit interpretation of Article 8 of the NH state constitution suggesting it tacitly condones being a giant prick to government employees. The question that should be asked is why are anti-statists using the state to protect themselves?

This easily leads one to conclude that FK hypocritically argues against the validity of the social contract while reaping it’s benefits. By way of RationalWiki:

The social contract is a political concept proposing that there is an implied agreement between individuals and the society to which they belong, in which they agree to adhere to that society’s laws and norms in exchange for the benefits of thereto belonging. In simpler terms, it is the idea that people naturally give up a small degree of individual liberties in exchange for the protections of society.

Constitutions and laws are social contracts with governments. Taking aside the usual “then unplug your house from the power grid and go shit in a bucket” argument that FK never seems to be able to refute without lame ass”muh roads” jokes, their Robin Hood defense is predicated entirely on faith in their social contract with the State of NH. Again we ask: Why are anti-statists asking the state to protect them when they otherwise disavow the authority of the state?

We believe other more intellectually-endowed people have already answered the question for FK:

Libertarians, hearing such a description, run gagging to the sink. There are no nations, no communities, no families. Only self-seeking individuals exist, and the “common good” is a term invented by fascist oppressors. This is the only answer they have for any social question, from drugs to pornography to fast food. This shopworn and counterintuitive platitude from the Enlightenment is so self-evidently stupid as to require no refutation, though David Hume supplied one in his great essay on “The Original Contract.” Nonetheless, people such as Ayn Rand and the nerds and geeks who cling to her in the naive belief that her rotten novels will turn them into supermen could never understand the fact that human beings are social animals. This is a part of human nature which no libertarian theory can eradicate, and my advice to them is to find another planet where they can all live in solitary caves, where they can snort coke and watch porn videos to their hearts content. Their ideas are irrelevant, not just to present circumstances, but to the human condition.
Thomas Fleming, Chronicles of Culture

The KAC is No More, But Don’t Celebrate Yet

Put away the party favors and booze: Ian and his dumbass friends aren’t leaving town. Neither has Free Keene gone the way of most other cults of personality as evidenced by the lack of national news reps asking locals what it was like living next to a narcissistic dick (read: it sucks). The demise of the KAC is another case of Bernard playing favorites with his pet gorilla Rich Paul.

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This lends itself to the increasing confusion about the legal status of Bernard’s home. He has professed that he doesn’t own the home. He has professed it to be a parsonage owned by his Shite Fraud Church LLC or whatever the hell he’s calling his transparent tax dodge this week. He claimed the KAC was a separate entity though it was attached to the same building. He charged people money for the privilege of hanging out with assholes whose IQ barely exceeds their shoe size like Johnson Rice and the other assorted shitheels who have graced this site. Now it’s the “SLAP” (a fitting name given that it’s what most of us in Keene would like to do to these clowns) and run by Rich Paul, the first Neanderthal to ever don a clerical collar.

Can’t keep your stories straight, Ian, or are you just as confused as we are about what you’re trying to accomplish with these shenanigans?

Free Keene Fruitcake II: Lawsuit Bugaloo!

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Protips for our favorite bald munchkin:

Being a SUPAH-SMAHT legal beagle should lead you to thinking twice about hurling accusations of criminal acts in a public forum. Especially when the evidence for said acts come from the same place your head currently resides.

Speaking of lawsuits: enough with the bravado about filing federal cases. You don’t scare us and neither does your hilariously ironic threat to use the state against us. Please, call in your buddies in the CIA or whatever branch of the federal government you’re claiming to work with/for this week. We’d love to have a chat with them about Ian Bernard and his friends.

No one forged your certificate, punchy. One of your ex’s sent it to us after she got tired of watching your deadbeat ass constantly lie about who you are and what you do. The only bully and “google nut” here is the bald douche bag with multiple identities and a phony accent to accompany the multiple fraud charges under his belt.

This is the kind of trash FK and friends bring to Keene: dishonest, arrogant, and destructive. Phillips is just one person in a long line of guttersnipes who’ve done little but make life miserable for the people of Keene under the auspices of “liberty” and protecting us from the bogeyman only a dipshit with a hyperactive imagination and a Youtube account would find frightening. Someone should send Ian Bernard a trophy or some sort of award congratulating him for breaking the world record for “Most Emotionally, Intellectually, and/or Physically Impotent Members in a Political Movement”.

FSP Respond with “Dead or Alive Defense” to CMT Documentary

The Free State Project continued its stunning lack of integrity by trying to put a happy face on another damaging portrayal by the media. Last Saturday’s airing of Freedom: The Movie made no bones about showing Bill Wayne’s confusion and amusement when encountering the Free State Projects “colorful” cast of ideologues and crackpots. FSP President Carla Gericke’s reprimanding of government for not allowing free access to tainted food or carcinogenic substances was as funny as Wayne’s mockery of every other pasty nerd in the movement touting “Freeman” as a surname. They did what the FSP does best when confronted with criticism of any variety: they spin the shit out of it.

fspspinThey took their latest public spanking and turned it into advertisement fodder for New Hampshire’s biggest national news embarrassment since Plainfield tax protesting kooks Ed and Elaine Brown decided they didn’t want to play with the Jewish NWO lizard people anymore. Stay classy, FSP! It makes our work that much easier.

Remember when Senator Bernie Sanders told off FK?

One day, some irrelevant alcoholic Neanderthal and his equally touched friend wanted to be LOLbertarian superheroes. They decided the best way to do this was to “crash” (read: stand around and yell about shit no one cares about) a Sanders election rally here in Keene on the 6th of June 2015. It did not go as planned..

“Because you’re rude, and you’re shouting out things, and I really don’t like that. Now you can put that on youtube.”  – Sen. Bernie Sanders

Upset that Sanders has more fans and supporters than him, the said Neanderthal wrote a long essay (which I won’t link here because the attention produced by his child-like provocation gives him joy) about how Bernie is dangerous and scary because reasons. Who knows with this guy? He’s so piss-pants scared of his “radical leftist” bogeyman that he probably showers with the curtain open and sleeps with a night light to keep away the Marxist reading group plotting revolution under his bed. Skip to the comment sections of the above linked blog posting for extra hilarity as both supporters and detractors of FK pick apart Ian’s bullshit narrative and blatant lies about the event.

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Chris Cantwell’s Worst Fears Realized

It also never gets old reading or hearing Ian Bernard pretend his second-string team of “activists” are the “independent media”. As if he is fooling anyone into believing emotionally/mentally challenged people being manipulated by a narcissistic sexual deviant with delusions of grandeur as anything but the worst kind of personality cult. Free Keene is the Scientology of libertarianism with none of the money, zero celebrity endorsements, and twice the amount of toxic egoism and shitty writing.