FK Fanboys React to the News

Fanboys and well-wishers of Ian Bernard are upset. Not because they’ve realized they’ve been carrying water for nearly a decade for some amoral freak who is a few sentences off from a walking NAMBLA pamphlet. No they’re upset that SFK shares screenshots of their idiotic conversations. Like this one where the Stone Farm proprietress encourages an internet tough guy to gather information on SFK admins so she can “talk to us”.


Either Dante is a simpleton or is really eager to impress Katie. Nothing is blocked because we’re a public group, genius. Unlike you clowns we’ve got nothing to hide.


Hunt the locals. This is the flavor of nutty coat-tail rider that Free Keene attracts.

As for Katie’s sob story: here is SFK’s response.


Super l33t doxxing skillz, Zer0 Cool! That’s some righteous haxxing compiling a list of administrators on a public forum.

I suggest you take the offered advice of refraining from speaking. Dork.


I can think of about a half dozen people in your groups who hate Free Keene’s guts and thinks it should die in a house fire. But I think the more important question is why this dumb kid thinks she’s in any position to label us “psychos” given the company she keeps?

More to come as the FK septic tank continues to overflown!

Free Keene Raided by Feds; Child Porn Cited as Reason

Federal officials as well as local and state law enforcement raided the home of Ian Bernard today. News sources say the nature of the raid was to search for materials related to the sexual exploitation of children. Bernard is no stranger to accusations of pedophilia as he has repeatedly stated his belief that children can and should be able to consent to sexual activity with adults.


Bernard and his cohorts made these opinions known when Free State Project member and noted local buffoon Kyle Tasker was arrested for drug trafficking and attempting to lure a 14 year old into a sexual encounter. Ian was quick to jump to Tasker’s defense and brought up his sexual assault as an 11-year-old while Rich “Dr. Zeus” Paul made his dalliance with an older women at 13 as something to be proud of. An ill-conceived act which promptly got his sorry ass ejected from the Free State Project and banned from attending any FSP-hosted events including PorcFest. Apparently two pedophilia enthusiasts in their organization is too much.

So, Commandant. How does it feel to have it all come crumbling down around you?

Man, it’s good to be back.

The KAC is No More, But Don’t Celebrate Yet

Put away the party favors and booze: Ian and his dumbass friends aren’t leaving town. Neither has Free Keene gone the way of most other cults of personality¬†as evidenced by the lack of¬†national news reps asking locals what it was like living next to a narcissistic dick (read: it sucks). The demise of the KAC is another case of Bernard playing favorites with his pet gorilla Rich Paul.


This lends itself to the increasing confusion about the legal status of Bernard’s home. He has professed that he doesn’t own the home. He has professed it to be a parsonage owned by his Shite Fraud Church LLC or whatever the hell he’s calling his transparent tax dodge this week. He claimed the KAC was a separate entity though it was attached to the same building. He charged people money for the privilege of hanging out with assholes whose IQ barely exceeds their shoe size like Johnson Rice and the other assorted shitheels who have graced this site. Now it’s the “SLAP” (a fitting name given that it’s what most of us in Keene would like to do to these clowns) and run by Rich Paul, the first Neanderthal to ever don a clerical collar.

Can’t keep your stories straight, Ian, or are you just as confused as we are about what you’re trying to accomplish with these shenanigans?

When Manbabies Attack; Bernard Rages Against the Machine

Graham Colson isn’t good at keeping friends. Especially when said “friend” is a sentient Christmas ham with a open-carry license, drinking problem, and a political ideology that makes Ian Bernard look moderate. A few nights ago, said Christmas ham fell off the wagon (for the 28th time) and decided to get mouthy with Colson. Literally.

grahamvcantwellImagine this trying to get up close and personal with you:


Making this even more pathetic, Derrick Horton is allegedly now charging people for the release of the video footage proving that these “peaceful people” will compromise their ethics for a fat ass dirty dollar. This also proves that Horton is the kind of self-serving and opportunistic skidmark on society that would videotape a violent death and sell it to the highest bidder.

In other news of the pathetic, Ian Bernard decided to take on the greatest edifice of statist evil in our country: high school newspapers. Writing about a controversy involving a student refusing to stand during the Pledge of Allegiance, Ian calls Monadnock High School’s “Pawprint Newsletter” a “propaganda rag” placing it in the same regard as “Der Angriff” and “Pravda” in terms of suppression of dissent and disinformation.

ianvschoolnewspaperAs is often the case, the Free Stooges like to quote (or misquote in the case of the much abused Ghandi) political and historical figures who stand in complete opposition to their politics with zero irony. MG Butler was a staunch proponent of Prohibition (a pet peeve of Ian and his flunkeys) and was an avowed socialist (FK translation: Literally Hitler).

The famous essay he links to was published in summary by the socialist magazine ‘Common Sense” in 1935. He even put his legacy and military career on the line by exposing a plot by various business interests to oust FDR from office. Butler would have probably puked in his mouth after hearing that a bunch of dimwitted cheerleaders for lolbertarian free-market fantasies where using his words as a weapon. Well, after he was done laughing over the target of said weapon being a high school journalism class newsletter.

Free Stooges Crash KSC Commencement; Matt “GI Schmoe” Philips Gets His Ass Kicked

In a move that surprised few, Ian Bernard and the gang made an appearance at Keene State College’s class of 2015 commencement event to “protest” Governess Maggie Hassan. The response from attendees was less than welcoming with the young accompanying the Governess stating “I’ve waited for this day for four years and you’re ruining it”. The mouth breathing shut-ins and assorted other ineffectual dorks that form FK’s fan base are present in the comments to lend their slacktivist support for what is equal to crashing a 6 year old’s birthday party because their parent’s cut you off in traffic. Feel free to leave your own comment asking why they lend their support to “peaceful” people like Dick Paul.

11164224_10206869450159307_7603097193370248193_nSpeaking of dicks, loudmouth Matt Philips finally ran his gob to wrong person and got an ass-kicking for his efforts. According to the Sentinel and our moles, Matt was found tangling with a young male on Water St. as the man’s female companion looked-on. Matt allegedly refused to stop filming the man as he was attempting to care for his intoxicated girlfriend. This resulted in the woman smacking the camera from Matt’s hands and destroying it. Words were exchanged and it came to blows most of which apparently landed on the 40-year-old Philips as he was reportedly taken to the hospital with injuries.

Stop Free Keene doesn’t endorse violence even if it is against pieces of garbage like Matt Philips. However, anyone who claims they didn’t see this coming is full of it. Philips is a chronic instigator in love with the sound of his ridiculous fake accent and over-inflated sense of self that practically begs for someone plant one right in his snout. Matt got what he asked for and I don’t feel the least bit sorry for him. I want to believe this will be a harsh lesson about treating others with dignity and respect but this is Matt Philips. I’d wager on peace in the Middle East, a liberated North Korea, and Firefly being optioned for a second season before I’d bet on anyone associated with FK suddenly realizing they should stop acting like the world’s biggest asshole.

Has David “Creepy” Crawford Been Ousted?

creepycrawford1Dave Crawford has evidently crossed a line with someone in the Free Stooges. As seen above, Rich Paul cites Crawford’s persistent harassment of women (an ironic charge coming from a dimwitted buffoon like Paul who is known for scribbling school yard musings directed women all over downtown sidewalks). Graham Colson – another Robin Hood vet and MENSA candidate – is quoted as saying “He says some ridiculously stupid shit on Facebook.” which is an assumed reference to Crawford’s incoherent style of keyboard combat and willingness to go for the low blow.

It’s convenient this concern for Crawford’s behavior comes in the wake of Crawford threatening a man with a hammer in parking of lot of the Winchester St. McDonald’s. David claims this was done in self-defense but refuses to release his video recording of the incident. A duplicitous act that isn’t lost on his fellow liberty community members.


creepycrawford2Behavior like this is why he earned the nickname “Creepy”

David Crawford is just one more member/associate of Free Keene with violent tendencies and a streak of hypocrisy that spans city blocks. Much like Graham Colson, Crawford’s role as a useful idiot proves more of a detriment than an asset. Why is the larger liberty community only providing a continued silence on this trend? Are they afraid that holding one shitbag accountable might bring down the house of cards? Do they lack the ability to police their own? Or is the prevalence of scumbags and creeps in the movement something they’re willing to gloss over for the sake of inflated membership counts in media wank pieces?

Update 03-15-2015 : The Flowvella site containing more screenshots of Crawford’s creepy behavior has been located. This content is extremely disturbing and should serve as a warning to the kind of person Ian Bernard attracts.