Put away the party favors and booze: Ian and his dumbass friends aren’t leaving town. Neither has Free Keene gone the way of most other cults of personality as evidenced by the lack of national news reps asking locals what it was like living next to a narcissistic dick (read: it sucks). The demise of the KAC is another case of Bernard playing favorites with his pet gorilla Rich Paul.
This lends itself to the increasing confusion about the legal status of Bernard’s home. He has professed that he doesn’t own the home. He has professed it to be a parsonage owned by his Shite Fraud Church LLC or whatever the hell he’s calling his transparent tax dodge this week. He claimed the KAC was a separate entity though it was attached to the same building. He charged people money for the privilege of hanging out with assholes whose IQ barely exceeds their shoe size like Johnson Rice and the other assorted shitheels who have graced this site. Now it’s the “SLAP” (a fitting name given that it’s what most of us in Keene would like to do to these clowns) and run by Rich Paul, the first Neanderthal to ever don a clerical collar.
Can’t keep your stories straight, Ian, or are you just as confused as we are about what you’re trying to accomplish with these shenanigans?
No news is good news which is why SFK has been quiet. FK and Bernard haven’t done anything ruthlessly stupid in awhile aside not giving in and finally buying that clown car. If I reported every idiotic notion that fires across the collective two brain-cells occupying the KAC then I wouldn’t have time for more important things like watching paint dry or helping the library figure out how to remove the stench of Rich Paul from it’s premises.
All good things must come to end. Chris “I’m only as good as those around me” Cantwell opened his stupid race-baiting gob on FTL and let everyone know not only how much of a bigoted shitbag he is but also how dumb of a bigoted shitbag he is. You can read his sob story here and the 93 comments from edgy try-hards still holding high school grudges from the pantsing/wedgie of a lifetime.
He even changed the tag-line of his glorified diary a second time with “abolitionist” becoming “realist” and chummed it up with the far-right dingle berries at “The Right Stuff”. A radical traditionalist blog spewing a sort of smug, hipster white nationalism all over the Internet like a busted septic tank. “Realist” is likely shorthand for “racial realist”, a nonscientific theory that relies on discredited notions of biological determinism to purport differences between ethnic groups aside skin pigmentation or susceptibility for rare conditions like sickle-cell anemia. In short, it’s the same old racist garbage for assholes trying to hide their ignorance behind a curtain of academia. Like a twelve year old who thinks wearing a headband will convince schoolyard bullies that he’s a ninja.
This shouldn’t surprise anyone. Chris’s “libertarianism” has always been a thread-bare cloak hiding what he really is: a bratty man-child whose narcissism finds a natural outlet in the sort of petty reactionary beliefs most people leave behind after 5th grade. What he doesn’t tell you in his 8+ paragraphs of expository bullshitting is that this latest temper tantrum isn’t entirely fueled by FTL’s disinterest in playing host to a racist douchebag. It has more to do with Ian refusing to allow Chris to shack up in his new rental property near Jame’s Cleveland’s 101 Deals in favor of renting it out to GI Schmoe, AKA Matt Phillips. Why? Because Chris is a deadbeat who doesn’t like paying his rent which is the reason he left the “Brutalist House” all those months ago. Don’t let his blathering distract you. He isn’t stoically separating due to ideological difference. This is King Baby taking his ball and going home.
Protips for our favorite bald munchkin:
Being a SUPAH-SMAHT legal beagle should lead you to thinking twice about hurling accusations of criminal acts in a public forum. Especially when the evidence for said acts come from the same place your head currently resides.
Speaking of lawsuits: enough with the bravado about filing federal cases. You don’t scare us and neither does your hilariously ironic threat to use the state against us. Please, call in your buddies in the CIA or whatever branch of the federal government you’re claiming to work with/for this week. We’d love to have a chat with them about Ian Bernard and his friends.
No one forged your certificate, punchy. One of your ex’s sent it to us after she got tired of watching your deadbeat ass constantly lie about who you are and what you do. The only bully and “google nut” here is the bald douche bag with multiple identities and a phony accent to accompany the multiple fraud charges under his belt.
This is the kind of trash FK and friends bring to Keene: dishonest, arrogant, and destructive. Phillips is just one person in a long line of guttersnipes who’ve done little but make life miserable for the people of Keene under the auspices of “liberty” and protecting us from the bogeyman only a dipshit with a hyperactive imagination and a Youtube account would find frightening. Someone should send Ian Bernard a trophy or some sort of award congratulating him for breaking the world record for “Most Emotionally, Intellectually, and/or Physically Impotent Members in a Political Movement”.
This is the 9001 time Free Keene’s Huffy vigilante, libertarian anti-capitalist, and father of the year nominee has threatened to sick the big evil STATE on us. We’re not worried. Matt’s grasp on legality is as tenuous as his grasp on reality. Both are amusing to watch as they unravel beneath the volumes of bull- and bat-shittery that tumbles from his mouth or keyboard daily. Anticipate Matt threatening to sue Batman for not being real, Santa for failing to deliver a Nintendo 64, and Keene Police for staging war games in Ashuelot Park and not inviting him as a guest lecturer and teacher for the highly advanced Navy SEAL combat techniques that they named after him.
You know you’re a real asshole when people tell you as much and your reaction is to double-down on being a lying shitheel. No wonder Ian Bernard likes having him around.
The Free State Project continued its stunning lack of integrity by trying to put a happy face on another damaging portrayal by the media. Last Saturday’s airing of Freedom: The Movie made no bones about showing Bill Wayne’s confusion and amusement when encountering the Free State Projects “colorful” cast of ideologues and crackpots. FSP President Carla Gericke’s reprimanding of government for not allowing free access to tainted food or carcinogenic substances was as funny as Wayne’s mockery of every other pasty nerd in the movement touting “Freeman” as a surname. They did what the FSP does best when confronted with criticism of any variety: they spin the shit out of it.
They took their latest public spanking and turned it into advertisement fodder for New Hampshire’s biggest national news embarrassment since Plainfield tax protesting kooks Ed and Elaine Brown decided they didn’t want to play with the Jewish NWO lizard people anymore. Stay classy, FSP! It makes our work that much easier.
Joshua Erickson represented SFK in the documentary feature that will air this Saturday on CMT. The documentary follows stand-up comedian Billy Wayne Davis as he travels the country asking it’s people what their definition of freedom is. NH has become a hotbed of libertarian activity so it was a given that Billy and his crew made Keene a stop on his tour. He interviewed Commandant Bernard and whichever unwashed cult member was hanging out on the KAC porch that day about the Robin Hooding debacle.
Erickson gave counterpoint to Ian’s whitewashing of his domestic terror campaign and did so happily by informing the production of FK’s alarming beliefs about child sexuality, disregard for basic civility, and a greatest hits medley of asinine bullshit they’ve said and done to the people of this city. Erickson is hoping his “saltiest” comments – which Davis and his crew seemed to enjoy the most – made it into the feature.
You can view the trailer here. The movie airs on CMT this Saturday, July 11th at 9pm.