Satirical Twitter Accounts Taking the Mick Out of Creepertarians

A satirical Twitter account calling itself “Not Porcfest” has appeared in the wake of Free Keene’s kiddie porn implosion and it’s dropping the kind of brutal one-liners that almost compels one to mail Bernard a care package with some Preparation H and a burn kit. Here are a few favorites so far with a self-evident warning that these are extremely NSFW.

A second account calling itself “Ian Freeman Googling” is parody account posing as an aggregator of Ian Bernard’s recent Google searches. As stated above, these tweets are extremely NSFW. But oh so hilarious!

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Sentient Cockroach Fronts Local Domestic Terror Group

In a baffling example of the bizarre, liberty-loving folks have taken to aligning themselves with the world’s only sapient Periplaneta americana. Housing itself in the city of Keene, the over-sized vermin calls itself Ian Freeman and runs a radio show out of it’s nest on 73 Leverett St. On the show Freeman extols the virtues of moving to NH and getting arrested for petty misdemeanors so he can film it from the sidelines and pelt police officers with accusations of fascism like the brave roach-man he is.

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Freeman after someone turns on a kitchen light. 

Freeman lately took umbrage with SFK lauding the genocide of his people by invoking the terror of exterminators and insecticide gasses. He has labeled SFK a “hate group”. According to polled SFK members, nobody cares because roaches are a disgusting pest. Darth Statist, SFK’s Illuminati liaison and Sith Lord, had a dissenting opinion: “Roaches are gross but have you ever seen Chris Cantwell? Dude looks someone decided to dress a brockwurst up like an alcoholic cab driver.”

Edit: The above post is in dispute. While resembling common household vermin in appearance and behavior, SFK has been informed that Ian Bernard aka Ian Freeman is actually a petty and narcissistic man-child with delusions of grandeur. SFK would like to apologize to insects (humanoid or otherwise) for any harm this mistake may have caused.