Robin Hood Trial Exposes FK Hypocrisy


If you haven’t been out of town in the last week or so you probably know that Keene’s sapient roach infestation staved off another visit from the city’s metaphorical Orkin man. As some SFK forum members have commented: it’s a hollow victory. The public’s opinion of Bernard’s clown car troupe couldn’t be lower and even his peers are leery of associating with him as evidenced by the lackluster turn-out at this year’s Keenevention. Even if FK was able to pull off another court upset the damage to their good reputation (lol) has been lethal.

None can be blamed for avoiding the toxic group when the trial has expertly peeled back the layers of FK hypocrisy and shown Ian to be the charlatan he is. FK has consistently hid behind the Constitution while demonizing the entities that enforce it. Bernard and his peers have no qualms with showing their disregard for governing bodies and the laws they uphold and in some cases advocating violent action against government workers. Ian is even an avowed secessionist and has used “freeman on the land” hokum to get out of a parking ticket.

FK’s ambulance chaser uses the First Amendment to argue that the city’s request for a buffer zone is an infringement of the free speech clause. He uses a batshit interpretation of Article 8 of the NH state constitution suggesting it tacitly condones being a giant prick to government employees. The question that should be asked is why are anti-statists using the state to protect themselves?

This easily leads one to conclude that FK hypocritically argues against the validity of the social contract while reaping it’s benefits. By way of RationalWiki:

The social contract is a political concept proposing that there is an implied agreement between individuals and the society to which they belong, in which they agree to adhere to that society’s laws and norms in exchange for the benefits of thereto belonging. In simpler terms, it is the idea that people naturally give up a small degree of individual liberties in exchange for the protections of society.

Constitutions and laws are social contracts with governments. Taking aside the usual “then unplug your house from the power grid and go shit in a bucket” argument that FK never seems to be able to refute without lame ass”muh roads” jokes, their Robin Hood defense is predicated entirely on faith in their social contract with the State of NH. Again we ask: Why are anti-statists asking the state to protect them when they otherwise disavow the authority of the state?

We believe other more intellectually-endowed people have already answered the question for FK:

Libertarians, hearing such a description, run gagging to the sink. There are no nations, no communities, no families. Only self-seeking individuals exist, and the “common good” is a term invented by fascist oppressors. This is the only answer they have for any social question, from drugs to pornography to fast food. This shopworn and counterintuitive platitude from the Enlightenment is so self-evidently stupid as to require no refutation, though David Hume supplied one in his great essay on “The Original Contract.” Nonetheless, people such as Ayn Rand and the nerds and geeks who cling to her in the naive belief that her rotten novels will turn them into supermen could never understand the fact that human beings are social animals. This is a part of human nature which no libertarian theory can eradicate, and my advice to them is to find another planet where they can all live in solitary caves, where they can snort coke and watch porn videos to their hearts content. Their ideas are irrelevant, not just to present circumstances, but to the human condition.
Thomas Fleming, Chronicles of Culture

SFK to Appear on CMT Documentary “Freedom: The Movie”

Joshua Erickson represented SFK in the documentary feature that will air this Saturday on CMT. The documentary follows stand-up comedian Billy Wayne Davis as he travels the country asking it’s people what their definition of freedom is. NH has become a hotbed of libertarian activity so it was a given that Billy and his crew made Keene a stop on his tour. He interviewed Commandant Bernard and whichever unwashed cult member was hanging out on the KAC porch that day about the Robin Hooding debacle.

shotErickson gave counterpoint to Ian’s whitewashing of his domestic terror campaign and did so happily by informing the production of FK’s alarming beliefs about child sexuality, disregard for basic civility, and a greatest hits medley of asinine bullshit they’ve said and done to the people of this city. Erickson is hoping his “saltiest” comments – which Davis and his crew seemed to enjoy the most – made it into the feature.

You can view the trailer here. The movie airs on CMT this Saturday, July 11th at 9pm.

Queen of Free Keene Abdicates Her Throne And Assorted Sh*t Free Keeners Say

According to sources from within and without the KAC, Ian Bernard’s teenage ingenue has come to her wits and seen her ex for what he really is: 10 lbs of bullshit in a 9 pound bag. While rumors of simmering hostilities, bizarre love triangles, and the resulting STDs circled among SFK supporters from within the liberty movement it was Ian’s deranged and successful plot to publicly embarrass Renee on her own podcast that sealed his fate. Ian of the House of Bernard, the First of his Name, King of the Idiots and the Rejects and the Foolish Manchildren, Lord of the Turd Kingdom and Protector of Neckbeard Virginity is now without a queen. If you happen to dig manipulative and narcissistic losers whose bravado is overshadowed by a telling lack of progress in their stated goals then now is your chance!

Screenshot from 2015-05-04 23:51:08Seeing as SFK has been without a blogger since I took a brief vacation – I volunteered for an alternative spring break helping build FEMA internment camps – I believe its best that we catch up on some of the silly crap Ian and his Free Stooges have said and done. Overall, the running theme you will find in the next couple of screenshots is that of “rats fleeing a sinking ship”. The first sign of low morale in a group is when it’s members start throwing each other under the bus. Case in point:

manicvsjp manicvsjp2I think this is the first time I agree with Manic on anything aside perhaps an agreement that Garret smells like wet dog farts. Matt  “JP” Philips would be a sad, balding, and irrelevant munchkin of a man if he wasn’t so hilarious when he has these Internet tough guy tantrums at anyone who tells him he’s a scumbag and a liar.


Speaking of Garret, on 4/20/15 he posted the above paean to the Waco debacle while failing to see the hilarity of the act. Garret ruthlessly argues against any suggestion that he’s supports the libertarian equivalent to Jonestown but is here lionizing an apocalyptic personality cult run by a messianic crank who took young girls as lovers and saw himself as a prophet. Sound familiar?

derrickjinfant derrickjvsjohnson derrickjvsjohnson2As of the last month, Derrick Horton managed to paddle his douche-canoe into second place on my personal shit list. Being a member of an oppressed minority group has done little to engage what empathetic capabilities he has. The first image is Grade A self-absorption I’d expect from a sixteen year old try-hard and not a grown man trying to front a political movement for freedom. It’s telling where Free Keene’s priorities lay when the most compelling argument its members and allies can make about individual rights is to tell women to go be mothers somewhere else. The last two images show the sinking ship morale over in FK Lolbertarian Land and the levels of paranoia Johnson Rice must have about SFK spying on his doughy ass.


It’s great to be back!

Robin Hood founder, 101 Deals Proprietor Arrested in VA

jamescleavelandmugshotJames “The Mastermind” Cleaveland was arrested on 03/02/2015 while en route to his home state of Georgia. Pulled over by VA police for operating an unregistered vehicle (a box truck likely belonging to the 101 Deals store), the officer allegedly discovered Klonopin in the vehicle which James denied ownership or knowledge of. Klonopin is commonly prescribed to treat anxiety disorders and the symptoms of MS but it is also notorious for its recreational uses. It’s an incredibly potent hypnotic-sedative and those who have undergone rehabilitation for addiction to the substance describe the withdrawals as “pure hell”.

Free Keene wasted no time in rallying the moron militia to harangue and harass the jail staff. SFK members contacted the jailhouse for info about Cleaveland’s stay and to express sympathy for what the officers and staff where dealing with. They seemed pleased to know that not everyone thinks these idiots are heroes for believing they’re above the law. It is now unknown how this incident will affect The Mastermind’s suspended sentence from his recent trial. SFK will post updates as more info comes to light.

A Very Crawford Christmas

Dave Crawford lived up to his nickname by spending Christmas videoing the home of SFK member “Boston” and his family from a van parked next to the KAC. Boston took the short video clip below as he was driving away from his home in order to document the activity. Crawford later posted his footage on the FreemanRAW Youtube account and claimed Boston made a “obscene gesture” at him. Dave apparently believes holding up a phone to record a disturbed man’s troubling behavior is an “obscene gesture”.

Obscene gestures from Boston would be completely understandable given the recent smear campaign he has weathered. Ian Bernard has taken a great interest in attempting to ruin Boston’s name and reputation after he made one of Ian’s favorite attack dogs look like a simpering idiot. He has also continued making the chalker’s (all two of them) lives miserable by washing their inane platitudes from the streets of Keene. Ian has been playing this “liberty” game for nearly a decade here in Keene. Is this what all of his efforts have to show for? Petty vendettas and writing hit pieces against a guy cleaning sidewalks in his spare time? Nonsense lawsuits and creepy schmucks sitting in vans and videoing people’s homes?


Keene Sentinel Publishes Editorial About FK’s Colbert Debacle

For many in the community, the show found exactly the right tone, showcasing the absurdity of the group’s anti-parking-meter efforts and depicting some members as bullies in their harassment of parking enforcement personnel. To its credit, the group has received the segment with a sense of humor and, presumably, the outlook that there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

“The Colbert Report” wasn’t the first to make such observations. The Sentinel has run many letters from readers echoing similar sentiments about the group, and we’ve editorialized on its tactics. The New York Times ran a front-page 1 story last spring noting how disliked the group is in the community it claims to be trying to “free.” But the “Free Keene Squad” clip has brought a new focus to the controversy that we only wish we could.

The piece can be read here.

More Johnson Rice Fun From Our Secret Friends

Johnson Rice sure is thin-skinned for a man who spends most of his waking hours shrilly identifying First World Problems as evidence of a global police state. You’d think a revolutionary keyboard warrior forged in the hellfire of white suburbia would make him a shrewd and unflappable force to be reckoned with. Instead, he had a little hissy fit and threatened to unfriend people who associated with “scum” like us. You know, valued and productive members of our community who don’t get called “a-holes for liberty” on national television.

Sorry your brother died, Johnson. You’re still a tedious asshole.

Rich Paul, the Perma-stoned Putz of Libertopia, managed to make himself look less credible with his hilarious suggestion that we’re part of a Psy Ops program. We’ll admit it: the spooks are paying us off. The give us cash and allow us to take the UFOs out for joy rides in exchange for providing information on smug and preachy suburban guerrillas and the violent middle-aged burnout they worship as an icon of “peaceful evolution”. Lol, idiot.


When a friend of his admitted to giving us info to further distance the Free State Project from Free Keene and Co – something that happens often – he wiped his tears of buttpain and went on the offensive calling us “scum” and suggesting vandalism and public drug usage is a virtuous act. He also seems to have us confused with Rich Paul with that whole “violent thugs” part but even Rich seems to have conveniently forgotten that he’s threatened people with physical harm. Especially when he’s trying to pin the fountain incident on SFK and not the useless clods he attempted to “hold the square” with or the anti-Semitic thug and vandal “Yankee” who grabbed a woman’s wrist while attempting to stop her from erasing her name from vandalized property.


Hundreds of cars? LOL. More like five or six if Garret can bother to crawl out of the van before one.