Satirical Twitter Accounts Taking the Mick Out of Creepertarians

A satirical Twitter account calling itself “Not Porcfest” has appeared in the wake of Free Keene’s kiddie porn implosion and it’s dropping the kind of brutal one-liners that almost compels one to mail Bernard a care package with some Preparation H and a burn kit. Here are a few favorites so far with a self-evident warning that these are extremely NSFW.

A second account calling itself “Ian Freeman Googling” is parody account posing as an aggregator of Ian Bernard’s recent Google searches. As stated above, these tweets are extremely NSFW. But oh so hilarious!

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Free Keene Raided by Feds; Child Porn Cited as Reason

Federal officials as well as local and state law enforcement raided the home of Ian Bernard today. News sources say the nature of the raid was to search for materials related to the sexual exploitation of children. Bernard is no stranger to accusations of pedophilia as he has repeatedly stated his belief that children can and should be able to consent to sexual activity with adults.

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Bernard and his cohorts made these opinions known when Free State Project member and noted local buffoon Kyle Tasker was arrested for drug trafficking and attempting to lure a 14 year old into a sexual encounter. Ian was quick to jump to Tasker’s defense and brought up his sexual assault as an 11-year-old while Rich “Dr. Zeus” Paul made his dalliance with an older women at 13 as something to be proud of. An ill-conceived act which promptly got his sorry ass ejected from the Free State Project and banned from attending any FSP-hosted events including PorcFest. Apparently two pedophilia enthusiasts in their organization is too much.

So, Commandant. How does it feel to have it all come crumbling down around you?

Man, it’s good to be back.

SFK Announces New IndieGoGo Campaign for Rich Paul

In this day and age there is one travesty that we cannot overlook: a man’s right to a clean shirt being forsaken. Since Rich Paul has taken over the KAC as it’s resident clerical ape-man in Chiefwe feel Friar Schmuck here should enter into his office with a shirt that doesn’t sport month-old mustard stains and the stench of cigarette smoke and open ass.

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We’re not going to say what we think this stain is.

Others have commented that Rich’s hygiene habits leave much to be desired and this does raise questions if our efforts are in vain. We’d hate for our brand new shirt to end up in a pile with the other detritus of a life poor lived. Nevertheless, we have started this donation campaign to buy Rich a new shirt and perhaps a book on the joys of bathing. Click here to drop a few pence into our jar for Rich’s sake!

Free Keene: 0 | POTUS Candidates: 2

In a repeat showing of hubris, King Shit of Turd Island himself – Ian Bernard –  tried the old-fashioned ambush interview on libertarian-leaning Republican candidate Rand Paul during a campaign stop at Lindy’s Diner. Lindy’s is a popular spot for stumping politicians to glad-hand locals with the most recent being from Hilary Clinton. Bernard’s attempt to insert himself into the scene met with a brush-off and the consternation/mocking of his peers. Why the FSP hasn’t jettisoned such an arrogant and poisonous shithead is beyond the scope of this blog but you can still enjoy a bit of schadenfreude via the screenshots below!

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FSP Respond with “Dead or Alive Defense” to CMT Documentary

The Free State Project continued its stunning lack of integrity by trying to put a happy face on another damaging portrayal by the media. Last Saturday’s airing of Freedom: The Movie made no bones about showing Bill Wayne’s confusion and amusement when encountering the Free State Projects “colorful” cast of ideologues and crackpots. FSP President Carla Gericke’s reprimanding of government for not allowing free access to tainted food or carcinogenic substances was as funny as Wayne’s mockery of every other pasty nerd in the movement touting “Freeman” as a surname. They did what the FSP does best when confronted with criticism of any variety: they spin the shit out of it.

fspspinThey took their latest public spanking and turned it into advertisement fodder for New Hampshire’s biggest national news embarrassment since Plainfield tax protesting kooks Ed and Elaine Brown decided they didn’t want to play with the Jewish NWO lizard people anymore. Stay classy, FSP! It makes our work that much easier.

SFK to Appear on CMT Documentary “Freedom: The Movie”

Joshua Erickson represented SFK in the documentary feature that will air this Saturday on CMT. The documentary follows stand-up comedian Billy Wayne Davis as he travels the country asking it’s people what their definition of freedom is. NH has become a hotbed of libertarian activity so it was a given that Billy and his crew made Keene a stop on his tour. He interviewed Commandant Bernard and whichever unwashed cult member was hanging out on the KAC porch that day about the Robin Hooding debacle.

shotErickson gave counterpoint to Ian’s whitewashing of his domestic terror campaign and did so happily by informing the production of FK’s alarming beliefs about child sexuality, disregard for basic civility, and a greatest hits medley of asinine bullshit they’ve said and done to the people of this city. Erickson is hoping his “saltiest” comments – which Davis and his crew seemed to enjoy the most – made it into the feature.

You can view the trailer here. The movie airs on CMT this Saturday, July 11th at 9pm.

Remember when Senator Bernie Sanders told off FK?

One day, some irrelevant alcoholic Neanderthal and his equally touched friend wanted to be LOLbertarian superheroes. They decided the best way to do this was to “crash” (read: stand around and yell about shit no one cares about) a Sanders election rally here in Keene on the 6th of June 2015. It did not go as planned..

“Because you’re rude, and you’re shouting out things, and I really don’t like that. Now you can put that on youtube.”  – Sen. Bernie Sanders

Upset that Sanders has more fans and supporters than him, the said Neanderthal wrote a long essay (which I won’t link here because the attention produced by his child-like provocation gives him joy) about how Bernie is dangerous and scary because reasons. Who knows with this guy? He’s so piss-pants scared of his “radical leftist” bogeyman that he probably showers with the curtain open and sleeps with a night light to keep away the Marxist reading group plotting revolution under his bed. Skip to the comment sections of the above linked blog posting for extra hilarity as both supporters and detractors of FK pick apart Ian’s bullshit narrative and blatant lies about the event.

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Chris Cantwell’s Worst Fears Realized

It also never gets old reading or hearing Ian Bernard pretend his second-string team of “activists” are the “independent media”. As if he is fooling anyone into believing emotionally/mentally challenged people being manipulated by a narcissistic sexual deviant with delusions of grandeur as anything but the worst kind of personality cult. Free Keene is the Scientology of libertarianism with none of the money, zero celebrity endorsements, and twice the amount of toxic egoism and shitty writing.