Free Keene Fruitcake II: Lawsuit Bugaloo!

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Protips for our favorite bald munchkin:

Being a SUPAH-SMAHT legal beagle should lead you to thinking twice about hurling accusations of criminal acts in a public forum. Especially when the evidence for said acts come from the same place your head currently resides.

Speaking of lawsuits: enough with the bravado about filing federal cases. You don’t scare us and neither does your hilariously ironic threat to use the state against us. Please, call in your buddies in the CIA or whatever branch of the federal government you’re claiming to work with/for this week. We’d love to have a chat with them about Ian Bernard and his friends.

No one forged your certificate, punchy. One of your ex’s sent it to us after she got tired of watching your deadbeat ass constantly lie about who you are and what you do. The only bully and “google nut” here is the bald douche bag with multiple identities and a phony accent to accompany the multiple fraud charges under his belt.

This is the kind of trash FK and friends bring to Keene: dishonest, arrogant, and destructive. Phillips is just one person in a long line of guttersnipes who’ve done little but make life miserable for the people of Keene under the auspices of “liberty” and protecting us from the bogeyman only a dipshit with a hyperactive imagination and a Youtube account would find frightening. Someone should send Ian Bernard a trophy or some sort of award congratulating him for breaking the world record for “Most Emotionally, Intellectually, and/or Physically Impotent Members in a Political Movement”.

Matt Phillips Can’t Wait to Sue Us

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This is the 9001 time Free Keene’s Huffy vigilante, libertarian anti-capitalist, and father of the year nominee has threatened to sick the big evil STATE on us. We’re not worried.  Matt’s grasp on legality is as tenuous as his grasp on reality. Both are amusing to watch as they unravel beneath the volumes of bull- and bat-shittery that tumbles from his mouth or keyboard daily. Anticipate Matt threatening to sue Batman for not being real, Santa for failing to deliver a Nintendo 64, and Keene Police for staging war games in Ashuelot Park and not inviting him as a guest lecturer and teacher for the highly advanced Navy SEAL combat techniques that they named after him.

You know you’re a real asshole when people tell you as much and your reaction is to double-down on being a lying shitheel. No wonder Ian Bernard likes having him around.

FSP Respond with “Dead or Alive Defense” to CMT Documentary

The Free State Project continued its stunning lack of integrity by trying to put a happy face on another damaging portrayal by the media. Last Saturday’s airing of Freedom: The Movie made no bones about showing Bill Wayne’s confusion and amusement when encountering the Free State Projects “colorful” cast of ideologues and crackpots. FSP President Carla Gericke’s reprimanding of government for not allowing free access to tainted food or carcinogenic substances was as funny as Wayne’s mockery of every other pasty nerd in the movement touting “Freeman” as a surname. They did what the FSP does best when confronted with criticism of any variety: they spin the shit out of it.

fspspinThey took their latest public spanking and turned it into advertisement fodder for New Hampshire’s biggest national news embarrassment since Plainfield tax protesting kooks Ed and Elaine Brown decided they didn’t want to play with the Jewish NWO lizard people anymore. Stay classy, FSP! It makes our work that much easier.

SFK to Appear on CMT Documentary “Freedom: The Movie”

Joshua Erickson represented SFK in the documentary feature that will air this Saturday on CMT. The documentary follows stand-up comedian Billy Wayne Davis as he travels the country asking it’s people what their definition of freedom is. NH has become a hotbed of libertarian activity so it was a given that Billy and his crew made Keene a stop on his tour. He interviewed Commandant Bernard and whichever unwashed cult member was hanging out on the KAC porch that day about the Robin Hooding debacle.

shotErickson gave counterpoint to Ian’s whitewashing of his domestic terror campaign and did so happily by informing the production of FK’s alarming beliefs about child sexuality, disregard for basic civility, and a greatest hits medley of asinine bullshit they’ve said and done to the people of this city. Erickson is hoping his “saltiest” comments – which Davis and his crew seemed to enjoy the most – made it into the feature.

You can view the trailer here. The movie airs on CMT this Saturday, July 11th at 9pm.